where do I start? i have so many things to jot down. There are multitudes of questions on my mind and most of them for myself. Perhaps, i should commence asking it right now but i am afraid if i am not ready for these trial wherein i will have to bombard myself with so many negative affirmations. What if i end up feeling worse than what i am going through now? or maybe i will feel better right? or what if I stop being at peace with the rest of the world? It does not matter anymore because I have come to the conclusion that no matter how good you are, you cannot always be in good terms with the entire universe. Now, seemingly i am shifting the burden of blame from myself to the outside world. It is gross or maybe the whole idea is bad.