Its intense time of our life when we are in early twenties because this is the stage where we try so hard to figure out what we want the rest of our life-like to be. This is also the time we come in terms with an inevitable fact of life; we learn to accept everything we are and we aren’t. As we learn to take ownership of our life; it becomes crucial to maintain a balance between the activities that makes us happy now and the ones that will make us happy in five years from now. Often times we find ourselves confused about the choices and decisions we make that might have huge impact in the later part of our life. We also learn to say “NO” even if it means annoying a few people because our time becomes the most valuable asset wherein we spend this time in building our career, rediscovering our passions and nurturing it further. Making ourselves a topmost priority shouldnt bewilder us. It’s a real struggle every one of us go through, “what do I want to do with life?” I guess no one gets an immediate clarity and sense of purpose towards life. So its okay! We will eventually gain clarity about our own purpose of life if we are essentially curious, open to explore unknown and ready to embrace the surprises that come along the way.
I am in a motel lobby waiting for Gabriela. And I reckon she will take another minute or more which means I have some time to write this down. I am growing impatient not really because she is taking it long but my mind is preoccupied. So, I would rather call it obsession than impatience. You may dare say I am overthinking but I ain’t. What is it that I am so much obsessed about? Is it just in my head? or is it just on my mind? Oh! shit. I am not obsessed either. I realized I am just getting into a panic about the bills I am gonna have to pay tonight.
Many a time do you find yourself wondering what to do on the weekends, the usual chores aside. But in every case, you end up walking around your apartment building, going round and round the parking lot; walking around some crowded streets. Neither of which are particularly engaging. All these might just make you dream of large parks that you can just walk down to, along streets filled with trees, where you can sit under a tree, read a book, or feel the grass under your feet. And no, such parks doesn’t exist for the most part of our country. I guess most of our towns in Bhutan leave a lot be desired for. And reading headlines like this (“Children spend less time outside than prison inmates”), just put things in perspective.- Rumi
Yesterday I saw a man and woman at the train station saying goodbye. I am not sure if they were a couple but they spent a few moments in each other’s arm. They exchanged some words while holding their hands. I thought they would kiss, they didn’t. Maybe they had already kissed. The woman was the first to let go off their hands. As she broke out of their embrace she started walking towards the entrance carrying a small briefcase. The man looked continuously towards her. Perhaps, he hoped she would look back but she didn’t. As the woman disappeared into the train, the old man seemed sad but as innocent as a child. I could see his wrinkled forehead as he turned up the corners of his mouth to smile a bit. He was hopeful to see her again. I think a sense of hope in life is all we need to live on.
Take this moment to truly reflect, to quietly listen to your heart; to see the dreams that lies within yourself. Spend away this moment to explore yourself in truth; set out yourself on a voyage to allow yourself to discover all the things that are beyond anyone’s capacity to do so. If not for you, it aint for anyone. Do yourself a favor; because the entire universe is in devoid of the power to do this for you. You know it’s there somewhere in between your veins or arteries buried deep down waiting for you to unravel. But you should not confuse them for any of the mysteries that might belong to this universe. It is a soul part of yourself; only you can unlock those dreams and passions for yourself. In the end, these are some things that matters to you and to your life. You can begin this quest by asking yourself ; what you really want from life? Does your mere existence brings you the ultimate joy or satisfaction? Absolutely not! This explains why I urge you to take this time to reflect upon yourself and your ethics. You are a part of this universe and therefore you have a special role to perform and remember anything you want out of your life, it lies within yourself. Everything you want to do in your life; it starts with you. Provided you considered doing this, then reconsider committing yourself to become a person you were truly meant to be. By this time your question might have been answered. Okay! What is your answer? What does your inner self say about you? Your dreams? Your passion? and your purpose? (your answer should be a rational) and it should enable you to connect yourself to your conscience. Most importantly, your answer should further your alienation from the rest of the world for some time allowing yourself to immerse into the vast sea of your dreams. So, you figured it out. Cool! You got it. Fortune just kissed you. It took me a year and half to be in the wasteland to find another myself. Being a little more practical than I used to be (:
I started writing about trees and clouds since my childhood. I have been always passionate about words; to put things into words simplifying them in my own capacity but may be just in my case. However, that’s how i always felt about my writings. I believed in my writings as simplified versions of all complexities that i observed in all beauty in its entirety. By the time i was in Junior school i had taken keen interest into writing poems about girls and composing epistles for my friends; it still brings joy in my heart. Feelings were significant; sometimes laid myself down on the ground and contemplate about all the majestic things i could write about; mountains, valleys, moon, sun and the earth. nonetheless, i always described about my dog or either cows at school. I never read my true writings in the school which i truly regret now. i can’t still exactly tell what held me back. It still does hold me back. Deep inside i am afraid to tell the world how i feel; opening up myself kills me. You might reckon it’s because of guilt or remorse but it isn’t. It is something monstrous without proper name or description. May be this will remain as a part of me until i dare to uncover it. despite all these insecurities, literature has always attracted me. Scribbling things down has been one of my most observable traits. Literature has always been so close to my heart. I have been wanting to immerse myself into the vast sea of the world literature. transforming myself into an established humanist has been always my dream. Besides my keen interest in writing i have been always a reader which explains for my interest in becoming a humanist.